This is Serious

A few days ago, I finally started watching the videos that I downloaded for the songwriting class. My plan is to go through all the class material once before the real class starts in 6 weeks. The idea of putting my song ideas up for peer review is so stressful for me, that I don’t think I’d be capable of absorbing any of the lecture concepts during that period. So, I’ll learn it now. J

What struck me the most about the lecture was how seriously and academically the subject was treated. The tone was similar to any engineering or technical writing class I’ve ever taken. It seemed odd that music should be taken so seriously…Ah, but there’s the core of all my barriers with music.

According to my upbringing, music is a very admirable leisure activity but completely unacceptable as a career choice. Even my grandmother, who was a piano teacher, bought into this idea. My mother has often told me the story about how her parents sold the piano when they saw she was spending more time playing than doing her school work. The sad part is that my mother has perfect musical memory: she only has to listen to a melody once to be able to reproduce it. Had she been allowed to master a musical instrument, who knows where she would have gone? But no, her musical gift was considered a nuisance.

I was raised with this same idea. Any tendency I have ever had to take music more seriously than a hobby has been frowned upon. But I’m a bit less docile than my mother and have managed to develop my musical skills more than her. However, I’m still very much an amateur.

Even though I have always dreamed of being a professional musician, my own (pre-programmed) disdain for the profession has prevented me from investing the necessary time and effort to reach that level. These days, I no longer imagine making a living playing music. I would just like to be skilled enough to do so, if the opportunity came knocking. But to do that, I need to end the internal struggle.

Music may not be a stable, high-paying career. But earning money should not be the sole measure of respectability. Yes, feeding and housing yourself should be the first priority. But self-fulfillment and happiness are actually more important than a fat paycheck. Even though we’ve all heard these ideas, I’d be hard pressed to point to someone I know who actually lives by that principle. Myself included. I’ve never had the guts to put happiness over comfort. I’m not sure I ever will. But my inability to obtain a high-level of musical skill is definitely connected to this personal conflict.

So when I watch the videos of the songwriting lectures, it’s refreshing. This professor is someone who takes music very seriously. And no one is telling him he’s wasting his time. I want to live in his world, where music is valued enough to be a full-time endeavor.